Chasing dreams.

by - 10:19:00 AM



As I was cleaning up my blog, deleting old posts and making way for new content I uncovered plenty of memories and events that I vaguely remember. Blogging used to be the in-thing back then, and with Nuffnang booming in the early 2010s, my posts regularly had over 400-600 views. However, what struck me was that I was never fazed by my views. In fact, the day at time of writing is probably the first time I actually looked at my old posts and realised that there were quite a number of people following this space. As I read on, I felt so embarrassed, for the childish and occasionally mean comments that I wrote about people around me.

However, I was also proud of myself. Apart from the occasional ramblings, I wrote about my opinions on pressing matters, without an ounce of fear. Topics I wrote on included teen sex, peer pressure, social pressures, politics, education relationships, family issues and even held a fund-raising to help a teen battling cancer. Many of these topics I believe, was at its time, relevant to the teens who read my blog. Did I use to receive hate comments? Plenty. There were several political posts and controversial issues that attracted hate comments and even threatening emails. In fact, I was called to the principal’s office at school several times for my posts on cheating and backstabbing. Yet, I never toned down those posts because at 15, I genuinely believed my pieces were making a difference. I was never worried about judgement from others, and was unafraid to expose raw moments in such a public space. I never wanted to be another social media influencer with a perfect fake front. I was never afraid to express my passions and my dreams. 

At 15, I knew I wanted to be a blogger or a kindergarten teacher. In an old post, I ramble about how passionate I was about bringing information to others, and to teach the future generation of our country. But as I grew up, those passions were thrown on the back burner. 

“You aren’t going to earn any money as a writer.”  
“Engineering is the way to go."


Almost 8 years later, I finally graduated with a Masters. 
Have I ticked the box in graduating with an Asian approved degree? Yes.
Have I shown everyone around me that I am smart enough to have a Masters? Yes. 
But what is the point? Studying for my Masters left me miserable, slaving for something that I never wanted, and never felt like my own. 

The blogosphere may not be as active as it used to be, and the mass majority want to see pictures and travel vlogs. Peekashu.com has also gradually evolved into space where I write about food and travel. Reading my old posts made me realise that none of my initial passions has changed. I still wish to be a writer, and I still want to be a teacher. For the past 6 years, I never thought much about my dreams because I was regularly discouraged. “You will never be paid well, or at all” they said. Eventually, the heavy workload of Engineering took its toll. 

But its time I learnt something from my 15-year-old self. The confident, fearless, thick-skinned and somewhat cocky teen who believed she could do anything she set her heart into.  I am back on Peekashu.com with more travel, food and lifestyle posts. Stay tuned! Meanwhile, hustle hard ♥ 

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