What my school days were made of.

by - 1:54:00 AM

While cleaning my room, I dug out a whole lot of stuff that really brought me back to my primary and high school days. Looking back, I see a completely different person to who I am now. I was immature, childish and extremely extremely lame, which I will show you in a while.

but there were some things that stayed the same. I still find writing the best way to express myself, just that I was a little lame back then and I had like different diaries for every season I was going through. I am still emotionally attached to things that I own. I had trouble throwing out things and I still face the trouble of getting rid of things. I want to keep all my rubbish in case one day (like today) I want to look back and reflect, or I just simply want to show my children how embarrassing I was.

So coming back to the topic, let me show you what my school days were made of.

Back in primary school I felt like the queen. My dad's office was the most visible building right opposite my school and my house was one of the biggest in my class so yes I was quite the arrogant child. I remember hosting large scale birthday parties at home and everyone in my class would be invited. BUT they would be invited by rank. My closest friends would get the 'premium invite' whereas those I don't really like get the 'cheap printed A4 paper invite' .  Ya, I was the mean fat kid.

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I was the kid who went on stage for story telling competition every year and manage to get first / second every single time so I had no problems dealing with attention. Everyone knew who I was, everyone knew who my family was. Not everyone liked me but I hung out with the cool kids so I survived. Me and two other friends even formed a band called LCD where we would perform discreetly in my friend's TV room  (we couldn't sing but we just wanted to be cool)

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I was also the asthmatic sick kid. 4 weeks in a month and I could be sick for 2 weeks. Funny how I even mark down my sick days on my calendar. 

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I spent my time reading Ge Mei Lia and Durian Princess and I never missed a single one but then quite funny cos I read Durian Princess for so many years, only during Standard 6 I realize she's a girl.

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I was the nerd who got straight A for everything, but cheat one.
I remember for Arts, I would turn around to the girl behind me and threaten to bully her / not talk to her if she doesn't do my homework for me. She always ends up doing it for me and I get credit for it. Ya I was the fat bully.

I am not even kidding about being a fat bully. I remember sitting next to a boy who didn't have very wealthy parents but I insisted that I use his eraser instead of my own. Everytime I'm done, I would roll his eraser across the table and onto the ground, then make him pick it up. Many times he angrily asked me why I do that and I remember always answering the same thing
"Why you dowan buy square eraser ? Why must buy round eraser ?"
wtf right now I'm on a whole new level of despicable me.

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Collected soooo many of these scented beans. Someone once told me that if you put the red coloured scented bean with the blue coloured one, they will reproduce and have a kid (which is the white coloured one) and I really held on to this belief for so long. I even tried so hard to convince my brother and mother that the red was a woman and the blue was a man.

From the picture you can also see an odd looking stone. A boy once dug this stone out from the school field during recess and told me it is an extremely valuable stone and that I should keep it and never lose it. Thats why its still sitting in my tin container with all my scented beans and cute erasers lol.

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By standard 6 I was in love with writing my feelings down. I had a diary that mostly contains about which boy I like and what he said to me.

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Me and my friends also used to write letters then pass it to each other in school. As if talking face to face wasn't enough. We just wanted to write and have like a legit stamp and address etc. One time I even made my driver drive me to my friend's house so that I can post my letter. She returned the favour. She lives 2 streets away from me.

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Also think I damn cool last time, make up angmoh name.

Fast forward to high school. The first two years of high school was one of the toughest years for me. I battled to fit into my new school (where everyone already knew each other and I was new, all my primary school friends went to another school), and I was quite depressed.
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I didn't have many friends in my new school. From popular primary school kid straight down to the lone ranger. I slowly turned into someone that I would frown upon now.

I started to pay more attention to these beings around me called BOYS. 
Back then I would date misfits simply because misfits are better known around the school and dating them would mean that more people will know who I am, thus garner me more attention.
(Dating is a wrong term for this case. Read on and you'll find out)
Really I was such an attention whore I cannot believe it myself.

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Dug out these gifts that someone gave me very long ago. Back then I was very happy simply because he gave it to me publicly. Where everyone could see. #attentionseeker

People asked me how many boyfriends I've had back in high school and I honestly don't know. Although there were numerous 'boyfriends' who I would text with every night and update my facebook relationship status to "in a relationship with ...", but I've went on dates with only one person, held hands only once and never kissed anyone in my entire life (because I believe girls must be conservative and never let boys take advantage lol) so my 'boyfriends' back then were pretty non existent. But then again I was what, 13 ?

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Then I had more diaries

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and I wrote some more about my feelings and put them into this little box. I tried reading some of the little notes but they were abit too lame for me to continue. Like every piece of paper was about how love sick I was, but there's like a different dude's name on every piece of paper. Some I don't even remember who lol.

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Expressed even more through writing poems.  Mostly about my boyfriend's ex-girlfriends or the girl who flirted with my boyfriend or something super lame lah. Here are some shocking lines that I don't think I can write now lol.

"I'll make you blind, so you can't see ; So step away, don't mess with me"
"people call you a whore, I guess its a sign ; boyfriends you've got more, you even wanted mine" 


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I also found these drawings I drew wtf I mean, why that princess mata sepet one. This is the result of cheating through arts class in primary school.

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Somemore found this couple keychain. I don't even remember who I bought it with but I am very sure I didn't pay for it lol.

but of course, it wasn't like I focused so much on flirting around that I neglect my studies. I maintained in the first class throughout all my high school years and was quite obedient.
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I even got mencatat nota (write notes) during assembly. I mean who the heck does that ????

It was only during form 4 that I ended this identity crisis. It was then that I realize that I don't need a boyfriend, neither do I need the popularity or attention.

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Bitch please, I somemore write into newspaper give people love advice ok.

I turned my attention towards my academics and co-curriculum and it was then did I found out I could do so many things with my own capabilities. I started joining clubs and getting involved. I was still quite mischievous, like skipping class and loitering along the school yard during class hours.

By the end of my final year in high school, I was one of the few people in my class to have two red cards (one time for covering my friend who skip class to go dating, and another time for loitering). I earned a few titles in different clubs, gained valuable experience, met so many new people and gained the kind of popularity through being involved and being nice to people (not through dating boys who basically live in the disciplinary master's room).

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Was involved in the school band where I had the chance to bond with juniors.

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Interact Club where I .... interacted .....

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Editorial board where I learnt so much about publishing a magazine

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Probably one of the proudest moments of my life when a prototype of the magazine cover I designed was printed. Felt like I did something meaningful in high school apart from study.

Do I regret some things I did ? Yes. I would've liked to spend more time with my family and loved ones  instead of wasting my feelings on people I don't even remember now but I truly believe that I am who I am through every single thing that has happened. Looking back at everything, I am glad that I can laugh at how innocent, lame and stupid I was.

But just to keep in mind,
I'm a cool kid now. So all of you must be friends with me ok?

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