Every fairytale has its ending. Mine is a long line of assignments and a gloomy week waiting for me in Melbourne. Like every other time I return from Malaysia, I am stuck in this homesick whirlwind for at least 2 days. Which got me thinking. Where is home? I like to think that home is a place I will one day settle down in, where I will build my career, my family, and my life.
There was a time I felt like I can never leave Malaysia. Everyone I knew was there. Everyone I loved was there. Everything I ever want to eat is in Malaysia. I struggled with the fact that I will be in Melbourne for at least 5 years, and I was dead set I would go back.
Then things changed. I made new friends, I found new loved ones, Malaysia changed, people changed, and I found myself loving Melbourne more than ever. Then, I told myself, I am never going back to Malaysia. Melbourne is home. However, a few years into loving life here, I grew distant from many friends. Some of them left the country, some of them, I just don’t hang out with anymore. Once again, people changed. I remember the Trinity days, when I can walk on Swanston street, and bump into at least 2 people I know. I remember the days when I walk out of the exam hall, and I am joined with a whole group of friends, eager to discuss our answers. I remember the days when my issue wasn’t the lack of events, but the lack of funds to always be attending birthday parties / going out to have fun. Even now, with only a handful of close friends, most of my closest friends have returned to Malaysia / set on going back within 2 years.
People change. Situations change. So has my definition of home changed again? Why is there always a trade off when deciding where to live? Be with my family, suffer the wrath of OT’s in Malaysia (and slow service in absolutely everything) ; or leave my family, and live a comfortable life. At times like these, does one listen to the heart, or the logical mind? For some, the choice may be easy but for me, it is probably going to be the toughest decision I ever make. For now, theres one thing I’m sure of
Change is the only constant